A Black Friend Does Not Make You an Expert on Black People

In today’s social climate, it has become increasingly common for individuals to claim cultural understanding, authority, or moral credibility simply because they have “a Black friend.” While proximity to Black people may offer exposure, it does not equate to expertise, nor does it grant permission to speak for, over, or instead of Black voices.

Having a Black friend does not provide an education in Black history, nor does it offer a comprehensive understanding of systemic racism, intergenerational trauma, cultural nuance, or the lived realities of Black communities. Friendship is not a credential. Relationship is not research. And proximity is not the same as accountability.

Lived Experience Is Not Transferable

Blackness is not a monolith. The experiences of one Black individual cannot represent the vast diversity of Black identities shaped by geography, class, gender, spirituality, history, and personal trauma. To suggest otherwise is to reduce an entire people to a singular narrative—often one that feels most comfortable to those outside the community.

Listening to one Black voice does not absolve anyone of the responsibility to listen to many. Nor does it permit selective hearing—embracing the perspectives that affirm one’s worldview while dismissing those that challenge it.

Allyship Requires Humility, Not Authority

True allyship is rooted in humility, not ownership. It recognizes that learning is ongoing and that correction is not an attack but an invitation to grow. When Black people speak about their experiences—particularly about injustice, harm, or exclusion—the appropriate response is not defensiveness or comparison, but reflection and accountability.

Being in community with Black people does not mean you get to define what racism is, how it operates, or when it no longer exists. It does not give license to minimize harm, explain away disparities, or invalidate pain.

Tokenism Is Not Solidarity

Invoking “my Black friend” as a defense often functions as a shield—one that protects individuals from confronting their own biases or complicity in systems of inequality. This form of tokenism reduces Black people to evidence rather than honoring them as full, autonomous human beings.

Solidarity is not performative. It is not conditional. And it does not require validation from a single relationship to be legitimate.

Listening Is the Work

If the goal is understanding, then the work begins with listening—listening without interruption, without rebuttal, and without the need to center oneself in the conversation. It requires engaging Black scholarship, Black theology, Black history, and Black leadership—not just Black proximity.

Expertise is earned through study, accountability, and sustained engagement—not through association.

Conclusion

A Black friend does not make you an expert on Black people. What it can make you is a listener, a learner, and—if you choose—a responsible ally. The difference lies not in who you know, but in how willing you are to respect voices beyond your own.

Understanding Black experiences is not about access—it is about humility, responsibility, and the courage to confront uncomfortable truths.